Orphans

I donʼt even know where to begin this post. This week has been filled with both blessed and trying moments. I ask every day for my Father to open my eyes to his direction for my life. Once again I find myself at a loss for words, trying to describe my Father's work here. Itʼs amazing. It's simply His hand holding on to His children.

All my life I have dreamed of holding the hands of little orphans who crave the touch and love they know so little. This week I had a chance to visit an orphanage here in town. Within moments of stepping out of the car, I was surrounded by children. Each one of them was full of smiles, each wanted to be picked up and held. I kneeled down to them as they grabbed onto my neck. One little girl in particular was in the process of getting dressed before I got there and still hadnʼt put on her little shirt. I took it out of her hands, put it on her, and buttoned all the buttons that werenʼt missing. The entire time she looked at my face, she smiled with such content. One of the workers there said they needed to stretch their legs and walk, and that I should not pick them up no matter how much they asked. I was able to take these little two-year-olds for a walk around the orphanage and to the playground. Not only were my hands full of little Thai baby hands, my arms were full as they clung to me, my legs were full as they held onto my pants, and my heart was full of heavy thoughts, because I knew I had to leave them.

This same day I met a lady who runs another orphanage for babies who were too sick in the regular orphanages and were not getting the attention they need. These are babies who were dying from simple infections such as pneumonia and diarrhea. If she does not take these babies in, they die from minor illnesses. It was at her orphanage that I was introduced to her beautiful, and now perfect and strong children. I asked if she would let me volunteer and she said she would love the extra help. I am so thrilled at this opportunity, and my supervisor has given me the thumbs up as long as it doesnʼt hinder my language study. I assured him that, if anything, it would be good for me because it would be a kind of outlet from study, as well as a chance to practice Thai with the helpers at her orphanage.

On this same day that I was so blessed, I was also the most overwhelmed. This was also the day that I met a young orphan girl who is struggling to learn English and Thai at the same time. Because of her background, she had been unable to read and write. She is now 14, but approximately a year ago, a family in the States chose to adopt her. Her life was going to change dramatically, she was going to live with a loving family, learn to read and write in school , and get the proper care she needed. Nine months after uprooting and moving the United States, the orphanage received a letter from an anonymous writer. This letter caused them to take her from her new family and place her back in the orphanage in Thailand. Devastated, she was forced to move back to the place she thought she had escaped. Last week, a couple looking for a young girl her age asked to meet her, brought her into their home, showed her to her room, and asked if she would like to come and live with them. The home was picture-perfect. Everything was beautiful, and without hesitation she agreed for them to adopt her. The day I met her was the day she was supposed to begin her new life with them. However, the couple had called the day before and decided they were not interested in adopting her. So, rather than being taken her to her new home, she had to be told that she would be staying at the orphanage. It was one of the saddest things I have ever witnessed. I got to spend some time with her on this day, and she taught me Thai words while I taught her English words. She had a picture Bible with her, so I asked if I could read her one of the stories. I picked the story of Esther and told her how my Father was with Esther, even when she was in a place she didnʼt want to be.. I told her how He made her strong. I donʼt thing this will be the end of our relationship - I hope this will just be the beginning. Her story has broken my heart, but she blessed me with her company and constant smile, even after facing devastating news. Lift her up when you talk to our Father, ask for her heart to be comforted, and that she will be able to see a future filled with hope, and not the despair of her past.

Finding Him Here

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I can’t believe it’s already been a month since I arrived here in Thailand . Each day continues to be an adventure. I am starting to learn my way around the city - well, at least to the grocery story and my office. Language learning has proven to be challenging, but completely necessary. I can’t thank you all enough for all your thoughts, it is truly all His doing getting me to this point in my life. I will continue to follow the adventure He has planned for me.

In the past month I have tried lots of new things, some I will only try one time, some I will learn to live with, and others I consider the perks of the job. Food is always one of the things people ask me about: “are you eating?”, “do they serve dog and cat?”…Yes I am eating, and well in fact. I have eaten some strange things that I know to stay away from, but not dog or cat. One of the things I have added to my book of what not to eat again is a salmon sandwich. The menu said smoked salmon sandwich and I thought, "Well that sounds healthy and refreshing." I am not sure what they smoked it with, but it definitely wasn’t heat. Wouldn’t you know I just decided to go ahead and bite into it despite the smell and look of it. Yes, it was raw and yes, I did gag.

My motto is usually that I will try anything once, but in Asia all rules go out the window. In the markets they have all kinds of cool things such as fresh fruit, fresh flowers, cloths, handcrafted items, and “fresh” meat. It became a realization that the people don’t waste anything here when I saw the pigs heads displayed on the meat table, along with ears, hoofs and testicles. The most disturbing part was the head. Not sure how they cook it or eat it, not sure I even care. That was one of those things that went straight to the top of the list not to try.

The smell here is unlike anything I have ever experienced. And for those of you that have traveled to Asian countries, you know what I am talking about. I am told it isn’t as bad here as most Asian cities, but at times it is definitely noticeable. There are places in the market where the streets are wet and dirty with who knows what. Sometimes puddles of blood can be seen from the freshly cut meat. Most toilets are “squatty potties” (not sure if that is the official term or not). But the idea is you squat over it rather then sit on it. Sounds pretty sanitary, but add the fact that there is no TP but rather a nozzle to hose off with and a bucket of water with a cup to flush, and this makes for a very slippery damp area to do your business. I have mastered "number one" in these toilets, but I just hope I don’t ever have a moment when I have to do the other in there. Needless to say, wearing your flip flops out on this ground can make your feet feel pretty tainted. I know it’s bad when my Chru (teacher), who took me out for the day yesterday, washed her feet in my bathroom when she brought me back home. When she left she told me to be sure and wash my feet and hands. Which I was going to do anyway since I had had a small accident on my foot earlier in the “squatty potty.” Ok, so I have almost mastered it.

So for those of you who were going to come and visit me and now are having second thoughts, let me share the best things about this place that far outweigh any of the other things I don’t quite understand. First of all, Thai food is amazing…although because it is lower in fat than American food, it might leave you longing for something more, that's why there is always room for a fresh fruit smoothy. The portions are good-sized, though, and most of the time you can eat for less than a dollar. Truly, the expensive part is getting here, but once you’re here you can eat and buy things for very cheap. Another thing I love about this place is the people and how friendly and welcoming they are to “farang” foreigners. In the states we can sometimes get annoyed by tourists, not here though. They won’t bat an eye at cutting you off in traffic, but will be smiling ear to ear while doing so.

I experienced an amazing church service this past Sunday. I went to church with my Thai teacher, who attends a non-denominational church. The sermon was preached in Thai with an English translator. The worship was unlike anything I have experienced before. I will do my best to paint a picture of the service, but it won’t be near to what living it was. Imagine probably 50 or more Thai people lifting their hands, jumping up and down to every song, singing with real passion and joy, holding back nothing. Despite the heat in the room and being surrounded by people…they were free, free from a darkness few of us truly understand. With their hearts they cry out to their Father, all in unison like a choir of Thai voices in their native language, singing “every breath that I take, every moment I’m awake, have your way in me.” Tears were brought to my eyes because I could see He is here, too. Even though there is a dark blanket covering the lands…there are small holes of light so that when you stand in the midst, you feel totally surrounded by His presence. Far above the food, the travel, the new experiences, the smells, the people, the beauty, stands my Father, who called me to this place, from this place…and I am in love with the people.

Please remember when you talk to the Father:
Lift up the people that the truth would be seen here.
That I would stay focused on my relationship with my Father.
That the language would start to become clearer to me.
For His direction to be clear to me daily.

Be lifted today my dear friends. I miss you all so very much and think of you often.